Hold up, Daphanatics, we're back
with another episode of "Jeepers! It's Daphne!"
Later on the show, you'll get a sneak peak
at my new modeling portfolio.
A lot of you keep posting videos or comments
asking me about my other career
as a mystery-solving teen monster-Buster.
Like this video from alexsuperfan2112.
I heard that you're responsible for breaking up
the greatest band in history, the Alex super experience.
Is that true?
It sure is, alexsuperfan2112.
It all started when the band accidentally conjured up
the ghost of mamba wamba, a freaky voodoo witch doctor.
Oh, look! We have a live video chat.
- Hi, Daph. - Hi, Fred.
Great show. I just wanted to point out
that as Velma has taught us again and again,
there's no such thing as ghosts.
Mamba wamba here only pretended
to be an otherworldly witch doctor.
He was really a music producer who got performer Lila
to pretend to be a zombie in order to steal
a potentially lucrative pop song.
Oh.
Wait, what?
Oh, hey, Daph.
Shaggy, Scooby!
But I think the musical case was the one
with the green phantoms, wasn't it?
Oh, yeah. They were really creeps that crawled.
A pair of crooked aptly named lawyers.
We were in a tight spot, but once again, Velma's brilliance
solved the musical riddle and saved our lives.
Uh, I thought we were gonna see your modeling pics.
- Oh, hi, Velma. - Hi, Daphne. Great show.
Thanks! Hey, I was just singing your brain's praises.
I know, I was watching.
But that's just number crunching. It's your personal magnetism
that allows us to get close enough to bust these sociopaths.
Like this one.
Remember old Ironface?
Oh, do I ever.
He was actually cafe owner mama Mione,
masquerading as the ghost of a weird pirate or something,
to help convicts escape from prison.
Wait. Like you're thinking of Redbeard's ghost.
(GULP)
- Ohh! That dude was creepy. - (GASP) Creepy.
That's right. At least until we found out
he was C.L. Magnus, a shipping magnate
who was stealing from himself and pocketing the insurance.
- (RING) - Mm-hmm. That's right.
Hi, Daphanatic, what's your question?
Is it about my modeling pictures?
What? Oh, no. I just searched "Velma Dinkley"
and this website came up. I have an urgent message for her.
My name is Cuthbert Crawley. I'm a lawyer for her family.
Lawyer? Family?
Uh...(LAUGHS)
Uh, clearly this is some sort of scam.
Scam? Velma!
Oh, Daph, the Internet isn't exactly
the most reliable source of information.
Nobody checks anything. I mean, look at this.
A super suit? Please!
And with tiny agents that sit inside this thing?
Laughable!
Wait. You're saying
that tiny special agents aren't real? But...
Velma, you're ruining my show.
Besides, the beauty of the Internet
is the freedom of information.
And all the cool stuff you can buy, too.
Velma, please! It's a family emergency.
You must come to my office as soon as possible.
I'm texting you my address.
Whoops. Looks like we lost him. Moving on.
He said it was an emergency. We need to meet him right away.
- We don't, Freddie, it's really OK. - Come on, gang, time's a-wastin'.
(BEEP BEEP BEEP)
Well, Daphanatics, I guess that's all for now. Keep liking me, please.
Ooh, wait. What about the modeling pics?
(BURP)
(SLURPING)
Boy, it's great to have the gang back together. Let's go!
Fred, you really don't have to go to the trouble of...
Nonsense. A road trip is what we all need.
Come on, gang, let's go see this lawyer Crawley.
But, Fred, wait!
Is the mystery machine even ready?
Is she ready?
(ENGINE STARTS)
(MUSIC PLAYS)
(TIRES SCREECH)
She's ready.
Record time once again.
Oh, careful, gang. I just had her detailed
and her flowers touched up.
Daph, fingerprints!
Let's keep her as shiny as we can for as long as we can.
I know it won't last forever, but I have to try.
I love you.
Mmm... you are such a beauty.
Such a beauty.
Velma, you are the sole beneficiary
of your great-great-Uncle baron basil's estate.
Boy, Mr. Crawley, when you said
the candy was complimentary, do you mean it's like free?
Uh... yes. As I was saying,
due to an unusual proviso in the will,
you, Velma, as the youngest member of the Binkleys,
inherit the entire property, including the castle in Transylvania.
(THUNDER CRASHES)
Transylvania?!
(BATS SQUEAKING)
(BOTH BABBLING, WHIMPERING)
Uh... heh heh... I see.
You needn't worry. This castle isn't in eastern Europe.
It's in Transylvania, Pennsylvania.
It's a rural village of ethnic Transylvanians,
who like the Amish, choose to live in a more traditional
19th century lifestyle.
19th century?
(CLANKING)
(BUZZER)
Aah...
Well, you must be thrilled about this.
You'll be a woman of property and inherit all of your family's fortune.
I don't want anything to do with my great-great-Uncle basil.
They can give all of it away for all I care.
- Give it away? - Why wouldn't you want it?
Perhaps that's just as well, considering all that talk
about that supernatural curse hanging over the estate.
(GASP) Oh-oh-oh-oh!
Yes. It said that anyone who gets too close
to the baron's legacy will lose what they love the most
and then be utterly destroyed.
Don't worry! We'll stay away from the baron's legacy!
And his armacy and his footacy!
Wait a minute, Velma.
If you're related to a baron,
that makes you royalty.
You can inherit a tiara.
Why wouldn't you want your inheritance?
You don't believe in the curse, do you?
Of course I don't believe in the curse.
You should know me better than that.
Just leave it alone, Fred.
(BEEPING)
Jeepers, Fred, what...
I know every sound the mystery machine makes
and that is not one of them!
Everybody, down!
(EVIL LAUGH)
And if it wasn't for you, I would be king!
Clearly it was all just an elaborate hoax.
None of it seems to add up.
If it wasn't for you snooping around,
I would have gotten away with it.
Another mystery solved.
We don't need you kids interfering!
Meddling around where you're not supposed to.
It was really just a disguise to throw us off the...
Fred, behind you!
Scooby-dooby-doo!
You'll have all the time you need to think about that,
at the state prison.
I have a hunch that this whole mystery is about to be solved.
I guess you'll be going away for a very long time.
That explains why those spooky freaks were able to fly.
(FLAMES CRACKLING)
That guy's the worst parking lot attendant in history.
That's no valet, Shaggy. That's the ghost of the baron,
Velma's old ancestor and the source of the curse I mentioned earlier.
Perhaps I should have been more forthcoming about the details.
Gee, ya think?
"Stay away from...
Transylvania"?
Don't worry. We wouldn't be caught dead in that town.
(WHIMPERING, TEETH CHATTERING)
Sorry, Shaggy, but that is exactly where we're going.
Jeepers, Freddie, I don't know.
We've faced a lot of ghoulish creeps before,
but this one just blew up the mystery machine.
And that's why we have to go, Daph?
Together we've brought down more than our share of villains,
with nothing more than pluck, Jerry-rigged traps,
and a box of Scooby snacks.
And for no better reason than a love of justice
and my van and a knack for meddling
and a love for my van.
Did you just say van?
No, no, I didn't say van.
But now, we find the forces of evil
have come to us.
Why? We don't know why.
Who? We can't say.
But there is one thing we can say for certain.
What?
They killed my van.
(SOBBING)
This time...
This time it's personal.
(GLASS SHATTERS)
But, like, without the mystery machine,
how would we even get there?
(WHISTLE BLOWS, BELL RINGS)
The Transylvania express?
Who'd a-thunk there'd be a night train
to a town they never heard of?
Hoo hoo hoo hoo! I love this train.
Like, why?
Two words... snack bar.
Hoo hoo hoo! Yeah, at least they do have a snack bar.
And I don't mind if I do.
Garcon, we'll take as many hamburger platters
that will fit on these trays, and don't be afraid of stacking.
Sir, ze transylvanian express
offers only tasty, rare, traditional carpathian delicacies.
Carpahoe... uh, what?
(PFFT! EEE! BAA!)
- Eew! - Yuck!
(EVIL CHUCKLE)
- What's this? - What's what, Daph?
It's that teen mystery solver gossip site. I thought there might be something
about my modeling or whatever, but check this out.
"What blue-spectacled teen super sleuth
"is hiding a terrible family secret?
Hint: She wears orange knee socks every day."
Velma, that's you.
The truth is out on the Internet.
Well, it looks like my big secret is exposed.
I never wanted you guys to know.
Did you ever wonder why I'm so obsessed with debunking the supernatural?
We just always assumed it was something you fell into.
I was always curious about the attachment to orange knee socks.
Because you totally pull them off.
Mm.
It's time you knew the truth.
My crusade of reason is the result
of my deep, shameful family secret.
Like many emigre families, our original name
was Americanized when we disembarked at Ellis island from the old country.
America! Ve are free! Ha ha!
You can't stop here. Move it along.
Name.
Von Dinkenstein.
Von Dinkenstein?!
Yes, I am the direct descendent of the infamous
Dr. Von Dinkenstein.
(THUNDER)
Back in the old country, legend had it
that he was the man who created a monster.
(NO DIALOGUE AUDIO)
It was this story that inspired Mary Shelley
to write her famous novel, "Frankenstein."
I don't believe that my ancestor ever succeeded
in actually creating the monster, of course,
but the fame created by Shelley's story haunted my family.
(THUNDER)
It caused a kind of madness in some of my relatives
who wished to achieve where my ancestors had failed,
to reclaim the family name and its occupation.
(TAPPING KEYPAD)
Guys, did you even hear a word of what I just said?
Well, yeah. Your great-great-Uncle baron basil Von Dinkenstein
went crazy trying to recreate the experiments.
"Baron's monster runs amok.
Loss of income. Blow to tourism."
Oh. That's on the Internet?
Well, never mind.
Yes, this is why I'm obsessed
with solving supernatural phenomena
and exposing them as hoaxes.
And we all thought you just loved solving a good mystery.
(CHUGGING, RUMBLING)
Like, man, did you feel that?
Feels like the train just sped up
to like a gazillion miles per hour.
(GASPS)
If we hit that turn at this speed, we'll be thrown from the tracks
and plunged into the abyss below.
I don't know. I wouldn't mind
being plunged in a vat of pudding
or macaroni and cheese.
But not the abyss. Please!
Anything but the abyss.
Uh-oh!
We're not slowing down.
I kind of wish I'd gone easy
on the goat's head in ketchup.
(RETCHES)
Oh!
Aah! Oh!
Oh, no! We're going to lose this car, too.
Come on, everyone, we've got to save these innocent people
before they all die.
- I think they might already be dead. - Fred.
All right, everybody move, next car.
Shaggy, try to reach the engineer!
We've gotta slow down!
We're on it!
It's locked!
What?!
ALL: He said it's locked!
Try knocking it down!
Try what?!
ALL: He said try knocking it down!
Whuh hoo hoo! What, are you nuts?!
What?!
ALL: He said, are you nuts?
Aah!
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh!
- (EVIL LAUGH) - (WHIMPERING)
- (EVIL LAUGHTER CONTINUES) - (WHIMPERING CONTINUES)
You should have heeded my warning,
for now you have incurred the Von Dinkenstein curse!
Each will lose what he loves most
and then complete destruction!
Hee ha ha ha ha!
(WHIMPERING, TEETH CHATTERING)
(EVIL LAUGHTER, WHIMPERING CONTINUES)
(CRASH)
(BABBLING)
What was that?
ALL: (BABBLING)
Tell the conductor to slow the train down!
(SOBBING)
- We're all gonna die! - What?
ALL: He said we're all going to die.
(WHIMPERING)
It's all right! It's OK!
The Dooby gang will save the day! Whoo! Yay!
Daphne, this is hardly the time to cheerlead.
Wait, it is. Daphne's onto something.
It's working!
Now pull us in. It's working.
- Ooh! - Aah!
I always knew your cheerleading
- would come in handy one day, Daph. - Go team! Whoo!
We're not out of this yet. Depot ahoy!
No time to lose.
Uhh!
(CREAKING)
(BRAKES SCREECHING)
No, no, no, no. No need to thank us.
We were just doing our job. Well, it's more of a hobby, really...
What is the meaning of this torn-up train?
Not to mention our town clock. Vell, I'm vaiting.
Well... heh heh... You see, the train...
Actually, sir, we just did this town and this train company
a huge service for saving so many lives.
You! Girl Von Dinkenstein.
I'd know those glasses anywhere!
No Von Dinkenstein is welcome in this town.
It was your Uncle's monster did this to me.
Why did the monster replace your hand with a duster?
Ze monster took my hand. It was I who put the duster on.
The police barracks aren't going to clean themselves, you know.
Look, the tracks have lots of dust.
They are the dirtiest things you could ever imagine.
Never lets go. Never lets go.
Ooh, like I feel all sparkly.
Sparkly clean.
You can't blame Velma for something her Uncle did.
Of course we can!
We blame her entire bloodline for the Von Dinkenstein curse.
ALL: Ja!
- Seriously? - Seriously, young lady.
I'm Mr. burger, the Burgermeister of this town.
You're a burger?
- Burger? - 100%.
Aha.
I've never met a talking burger.
Ugh.
Blehh! Needs ketchup.
That's Burgermeister. It means mayor.
Now, to answer your question, young lady,
ever since the monster was destroyed, the baron's ghost has haunted us,
und now tourism is dead,
and our famed factory barely stays open.
Well, what does this town make?
We are the premiere torch manufacturer in the northeast.
ALL: Ja! We are!
You make torches?
Ja. Our burning pieces of wood are second to none.
Let me demonstrate.
Flame on!
Behold!
Eeeh!
You... will you come with me?
Um, guys, maybe we should do what this little man says.
It's hard to leave a giant burger behind,
but... ha ha ha... Like where's your car?
(EVIL LAUGH)
(SNAP, WHINNY)
So, Mr. guy who's driving us down a deserted road
to no one knows where, we didn't quite catch your name.
Me Iago.
All generations Von Dinkensteins
have hunchback for servant.
Bad posture bring good luck.
Iago, you must know the family history.
Why does the ghost of the baron wear that metal mask?
Legend say on stormy November night,
baron work on his experiment.
He been collecting parts for project many months
from zoo cemetery,
harbor...
And less savory places.
He find creatures, mutants,
cobble together.
He was forced to finally give life to creation.
(RUMBLING)
(ROARING, BELLOWING)
But much to baron Von Dinkenstein's chagrin,
the villagers became apprised of what he was about to do.
They feared the worst... That such a creature,
assembled from parts discarded,
would not know compassion or empathy
and have only the capacity
for wanton destruction.
The villagers put an end to both the doctor and his abomination.
So the monster was destroyed
and the baron's face permanently disfigured.
Aah!
That is why he wore the metal mask.
But before he died years later,
he vowed revenge
and cursed the entire town
for all eternity!
(THUNDER)
Oh, like eternity, huh?
Ho ho ho, that's a long time.
Wait. A minute ago you spoke in grunts and ughs.
When did you become so loquacious?
Uhh... Iago no understand brainy girl words. Mm...
(THUNDER)
(CREAK, DOOR CLOSES)
(FOOTSTEPS)
(CREAK, DOOR CLOSES)
(FOOTSTEPS)
(CREAK, DOOR CLOSES)
(FOOTSTEPS)
(CREAK, DOOR CLOSES)
(CARRIAGE APPROACHING)
- Whoa! - (HORSE NICKERS)
Get a load of this grill, Scoob.
I wish we had that on the train,
'cause that face could stop a...
(GIGGLES) Ho ho ho,
why, that's... That's a n-n-nice face.
That's a very, very nice, nice face.
Good evening, and welcome
to Von Dinkenstein castle.
Ve are so glad to have you.
(LOUD CREAKING)
That's quite a squeak.
I've got some DW-40 in the...
Yeah. Oh, never mind.
For our safety.
Like, what if we want to leave?
Come and find me. I have the only key.
(MUSICAL CLINKING)
(CLINKING CONTINUES)
(SPLASH)
Now, Von Dinkenstein girl...
Actually, it's Dinkley. And it's Velma.
And this is Daphne, Fred, Shaggy, and Scooby.
I am Mrs. Vanders, the housekeeper here
at castle Von Dinkenstein.
I will show you to your rooms.
Follow closely.
The darkness can be treacherous.
(FLOOR SQUEAKING)
These old floorboards sure are squeaky.
Unh.
Oh! Dude, it seems like
this place is being held up with cobwebs.
Ooh ooh ooh.
I hope that is not a comment
on my housekeeping skills.
N-no. No, no, no.
Like, we... we love cobwebs.
Don't we, Scoob? They're just, uh...
It's just a really... It's very European.
(CHUCKLES)
Where's inspector crunch's duster when you need it?
(LAUGHS)
Joke. Von Dinkenstein girl,
did you say something you'd like to share mit the group?
Nope. Nothing at all.
And again, it's Dinkley, not Von Dinkenstein.
Hmm.
With all these lights,
your gas bill must be enormous.
Nein. The castle was built on natural gas resource.
We have all the gas we need.
(GIGGLES) Yes, you do.
(BOTH GIGGLING)
Did you say something?
BOTH: Nope.
Huh?
(ORGAN PLAYING)
- Aah! - Yikes!
Like, something invisible's playing the organ.
The only invisible things I know of are... ghosts!
Hoo hoo hoo hoo!
BOTH: Oh!
(INDISTINCT)
And it is my favorite song.
This can be your room, Von Dinkenstein girl.
No! Aah!
It's Dinkley. And I don't think this will work.
Whoops. That one is certain death.
These doors all look alike.
Perhaps you wish another room?
The ones across the hall are available.
- (SQUEAKING) - Aah! Aah!
But we do have bats that tend to screech around the clock.
I'm sure that would be irritating if it wasn't being drowned out
by Scooby and Shaggy's chattering teeth.
(CHATTERING)
Otherwise I'm sure you'll be comfortable.
Now, let me show you to the crown jewel of the castle...
(LOUD BOOM)
The laboratory.
My great-great-Uncle certainly didn't do anything halfway.
Let's get a closer look at this place.
Ohh! If we get close enough,
will it be behind us?
Ooh hoo hoo hoo...
(THUD)
Look at these notebooks.
(COUGHING)
Ah-choo!
Actually, Scoob and I will take a closer look...
Inside the freezer for snacks.
Mmm! This is more like it.
Halt! Before you go any further,
I must inform you of two facts.
One... these parts are not food.
They are the parts the baron rejected for his creature.
Zoinks! And what's the other fact?
That at which you sit is not a table.
- Aah! - Aah!
Like, a real-life Frankenstein!
(WHIMPERING)
Just to clarify,
Frankenstein was the doctor, not the monster.
It's scarier than Frankenstein.
It's a regular franken creep.
(ORGAN PLAYS DIRGE)
That's catchy.
Oh, sometimes I don't know why I talk at all.
It looks like a hodge-podge of various monsters.
Part scaly, part furry, and all ugly.
At least what we can see through this hazy block of ice is.
Now you can see why I keep the castle temperature somewhat low.
It can't be real. It can't.
It couldn't be true, could it?
If the monster is real, then my entire world view
is called into question.
(THUD)
This monster must be a fake, and I'll prove it.
I'll recreate the baron's supposed life-imbuing experiment from his own notes.
When the ice is melted and the experiment fails,
the hoax will be revealed.
My core hypothesis that monsters are fake will be vindicated.
I don't totally understand your goal.
But, Velma, you yourself told us
how many of your ancestors were driven crazy
by this monster obsession.
I am not obsessed!
I am the opposite of obsessed.
I'll be proving monsters don't exist,
the opposite of what my ancestors were attempting.
Do I need to define opposite for you?
Well, I guess if you think it's safe.
I know what I'm doing.
Everyone out so I can get to work!
Except you, Iago. I'll need an assistant,
someone who can help me with all this antique science equipment.
Wow! A strichbaden electro-wheel.
I've kept these machines clean and in good repair for decades.
See?
Notice how the gyroscope spins, spinning slowly.
Look closely.
Very closely.
(GROWLING)
Listen to that growling.
It sounds sinister.
It is. It's mine and Scooby's stomachs.
We haven't eaten in, like, 20 minutes.
And, like, the constant state of sheer terror makes you hungry.
Like really hungry.
Even I could go for a bite.
I anticipate your every need.
- (BOTH SCREAM) - Please try a traditional dish
of our homeland.
Is it gluten free?
Does it have hydrogenated oils?
And it's not shellfish, right? Because I'm allergic.
I see to it it's all natural, organic...
Jellied pigs feet.
(GAGS)
It's a little chewy for me. But thank you anyway.
You might find more fare to your liking
at the festival that's going on in the village.
- There's a festival at night? - Eh.
Yeah, we might dig the fare down at the fair.
Come on, gang. I'll drive us down
to the village in the myst...
We could walk.
It's better for the environment.
We'll leave a smaller carbon footprint.
Not with Scooby's paws we won't.
(WHIMPERS)
(CRUNCHING)
(WALTZ PLAYING)
Willkommen.
Welcome to the torch festival.
Hmm. There don't seem to be many out-of-towners
at your fair, Burgermeister burger.
That is because your friend's family's madness
has cursed this town, Fraulein.
But please, make yourselves welcome.
(GASPS) Hey.
Uh, what's a gogosi?
I may not speak Transylvanian,
but I know a doughnut when I see one.
Like, count us in.
(OMINOUS CHUCKLING)
(GULP)
(PLAYING BAGPIPES)
(MUNCHING, CHEWING, SLURPING)
Whoo-hoo!
He is like one of us.
Little boy, eat like the rest.
(GAGGING, GROANING)
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
I'm gonna need some more chocolate sauce
and powdered sugar down here.
(ALL CHEERING)
Never has one man swallowed so many gogosi.
Even the one with fish eggs.
Fish eggs?
(BURPS)
Oh, this is adorable.
Could I see this in a size two?
To buy.
Why?
Fraulein, at the very least, you're an acht.
An acht?
(SCOFFS) An 8?
I don't think so.
Ja. And here's the only one in that size.
(GASPS)
Jeepers, it does fit.
What? I'm an acht?
And what's going on with my hair?
This frizz. I use a sulfate-free smoothing shampoo.
What is happening?
(BELL RINGS)
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
You have prevailed in scarfing down by the thousands
our culture's signature treat.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
To reward you, we present you with our signature garb...
Two sets of traditional Lederhosen.
The short leather pant is durable and allows for freedom of movement,
where the suspenders hold them up for a secure fit.
And they have all the traditional embellishments.
A latpundt, the messer socks,
and even a Schlitzflech.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
Like, man, these threads are out of sight.
They sure do take the cake,
or should I say the gogosi?
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
You've got a torch in Transylvania.
Oh, that's rich.
This bumper sticker would be perfect
on the mystery machine's... Bumper...
(SIGHS)
I guess not.
Everything reminds me of her.
She would have loved this antenna ball.
(SOBBING)
(CONTINUES SOBBING)
(THUNDER)
And here is the grand prize.
Look, Scoob, it's you and me made out of sausage.
A delicious Blutenwursten,
a Transylvanian blood sausage.
The signature cured meat of our culture.
It must be eaten immediately.
Like, no problem there, Mr. Burgermeister.
We love anything made into sausage.
(SQUISHING)
Ahh.
OK, here we go.
First big bite.
Uhh...(WHIMPERS)
(GRUNTS)
(GROWLS)
(WHIMPERS)
- I'm not hungry. - Me neither.
I'm sorry, Mr. McBurgermeister,
this like never happens, but Scoob and I are totally full.
(CHATTERING)
- (OINK) - ♪ Aah... ♪
We couldn't eat another bite.
You reject the blutenwurster?
(VILLAGERS MURMURING)
That is the greatest insult!
No, it's not an insult. It's a compliment.
We can't eat your signature cured meat
because we're so full of your signature treat.
Yeah, a compliment.
This is an insult, indeed!
(VILLAGERS GRUMBLING, SHOUTING)
Like who?
- Ooh. - Fred.
Oh, hey, Shaggy. Is the the saddest day or what?
We're in big trouble. We can't eat the Blutenwursten
and now an angry mob is after us.
Don't worry. We'll just hightail it back to the mystery mach... Drat.
Oh, boy, he's still thinking about the van.
We need to find Daphne and get out of here.
- Oh! - Uh... sorry, Scooby.
Whoa.
Zoinks! Daph, did you do something
with your hair?
Hmph!
Daphne?
Oh, Freddie, don't look at me!
(VILLAGERS GRUMBLING AND SHOUTING)
You gotta hand it to 'em,
this town really makes great torches.
And they stay lit in the rain.
(INDISTINCT SHOUT)
(WHINNY)
Quickly! You come.
Iago take you to castle now.
Iago, you saved us.
Not save you. You save her first.
- Who? - Your friend.
Her mind gone.
Velma now insane.
(VILLAGERS SHOUTING)
(BOOM BOOM)
Stand back, everyone. I'm going to break this door down.
- (THUD) - Oof!
That door is solid oak.
Too thick for even Shaggy's head.
Velma! Velma! Please let us in!
Welcome.
(ALL SCREAM)
Your hair!
I mean... it's not that bad.
Come in. Come in.
(DOOR CLOSES)
You're just in time for my greatest triumph.
You mean you've debunked the legend of the Von Dinkenstein monster?
Wrong. Just the opposite.
I am now convinced that the baron was right.
He was a genius.
This monster can be brought to life.
(THUNDER)
It will live.
But, like, Velma,
your whole life is about rejecting the supernatural
and magic and all that weirdness.
This isn't weirdness,
this is science.
(BANGING)
We saw the strange lights in the castle.
We know shenanigans are afoot.
We demand to be let in.
(LAUGHS)
No! I won't let you stand in the way of science.
We'll put a stop to you and your creature!
Let ze ramming begin!
(GASP) Iago, quickly, the generator.
Turn on the centrifuge.
Now the humidifier.
(SQUEAKING)
No! No more monster!
(SCREAMING, SOBBING) I can't take it!
Raise the platform.
(GRUNTING)
(GASPS)
(DRIPPING)
Is everyone OK?
Like, let me check.
Fred... he's OK.
Daphne looking a little weird.
Velma... hoo hoo... totally nuts.
Iago...
Ow. Iago stubbed toe.
Iago stubbed toe.
Von Dinkenstein's monster...
(GROWLS)
Ohh, got a little bit of freezer burn, I think.
Aah!
(ROAR!)
Alive.
It's alive.
Alive!
(LOW GROWL)
It's alive. Really?
Don't worry. I've got an iron-reinforced net
in the back of the mystery mach...
Dang it!
You're really not moving on, are you?
I feel oddly not afraid.
Yeah. Me, too.
Like, hi there, Mr. franken creep.
You must be hungry.
Have a Scooby snack.
(GROWLING)
It always makes us feel better.
It sure does.
(GROWLING)
No, thanks, I'm good.
(SNIFFING)
(ALL COUGHING)
(SNIFF)
Phew! He really stinks, huh?
Just as well he can't see himself in the mirror,
because he's pretty hideous, too. Hoo hoo hoo!
(COUGHING)
(GROWLING)
(GROWL)
(ROARING)
No, don't turn away.
Look at yourself. You're beautiful!
(MUTTERING) Me?
(ROARING)
(ALL SCREAMING)
Lucky we brought our torches.
Let's get him!
ALL: Let's get him!
(ROARING)
(ALL CHATTERING)
(SHOUTING)
(ROARING)
You fools. You've ruined everything.
Hmm?
Jinkies, Daphne, you look terrifying.
Huh?
Aah!
I'm hideous!
(SOBBING)
No, don't turn away.
Look at yourself. You're beautiful.
Really?
No.
(SOBBING)
You are a monster, Velma.
Hmph. You've got to find my creation, Fred.
Find it before those fools do.
I'm sorry, but without the mystery machine,
I'm no monster-trapper.
I'm nothing.
Jinkies.
Don't worry, Velma.
Scooby and I will find him for you.
You will?
You're volunteering to go after a monster,
to go toward the danger?
Yep.
Great. I'll get the Scooby snacks.
No, thanks. Not hungry.
Huh?
(CRYING)
Without the mystery machine, I'm useless as a mystery solver
and as a man.
I'm just nothing without my machine.
(SOBBING)
I gotta go.
God!
(SOBBING)
I give up.
(SOBBING)
(CRYING)
(GASPING)
Aah! Aah!
(SOBBING)
I warned you and your friends not to interfere.
Now you have brought the curse down upon your heads.
Each of you will lose what you hold most dear.
Is that why I lost my looks?
Is this because I'm cursed?
Ohh! (SOBBING)
Uhh!
Oh, jeepers. A secret tunnel.
And it looks pretty creepy.
But anything beats a thousand mirrors on a bad hair day.
(PANTING) Hey, Scoob, I don't know how to explain it,
but I'm feeling sorta... Ha ha... brave.
Yeah, me, too.
Like, even that shadow of the franken creep doesn't scare me.
(ROARING)
Right. Let's get him, Scoob.
(GRUNTING)
♪ Shake a leg and count to 3 ♪
♪ this ain't no disparity ♪
♪ just a tip that it's worth knowing ♪
♪ don't just be terrified ♪
♪ all you do is run and hide ♪
♪ best to get the party going ♪
♪ yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ it's about... ♪
♪ yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ do the Transylvania polka ♪
Velma! You got here fast.
Yeah, and in this dress, too.
Well, it looks like our work here is done.
Not quite.
(EVIL CHUCKLE)
(BOTH GASP)
(CRYING)
Hey, where am I anyway?
Oh!
Wow, look at all this stuff.
These could come in handy. So could this.
And I know just how to use it.
Uh... oh!
Who left all this old mining equipment here?
Wait a minute. This stuff doesn't look old at all.
Jeepers. There's something going on here
that doesn't quite meet the eye.
(EVIL LAUGHTER)
So, you've stumbled upon my secret, have you?
A pity you won't be able to tell anyone about it.
Aaahhh!
Daphne.
It sounds like it's coming from...
Aah!
Here.
(SCREAMING CONTINUES, ECHOES)
Keep cool, Fred. Think.
These old air vents connect to every room in the castle.
But based on that echo and air density...
Mm... and moisture...
Daphne must be in some kind of subterranean cave or tunnel.
Hang on, Daph! I'm coming!
(YAWNS, SNORTS)
Morning...
(GROANS) Good morning, Scoob.
Oh, that's weird. I don't remember going to bed.
(ROARING)
So, Velms, I stopped falling out of bed like months ago.
Why do you have us strapped in here?
Don't worry. I've deduced that the monster's brain is defective.
I just need to provide some additional cerebral material
to correct the problem.
Oh, I see. Brains. Like, that makes sense. Wait.
Where you gonna get brains?
(EVIL CHUCKLE)
(GULP)
Like, why do you need both our brains?
According to my calculations, between the two of you,
you almost have one entire brain.
(WHIRRING)
(ROARING)
I must say, you're taking this rather well.
(ROARING)
Well, Velma, you know I always say there's no point
in getting all bent out of shape over every little... ooh!
Zoinks! Ha ha ha!
I got a new outfit.
Oh, actually, I feel a little better.
Me, too.
- Those things were a tight fit. - Shaggy, I'm hungry.
Oh, boy, like all of a sudden I'm pretty starving myself, buddy, old pal.
Iago, bring me the brain extractor.
Yeah, Iago, like a good assistant would have anticipated
that she needed the brain... (WHIMPERING)
What am I saying?!
BOTH: Aah! Aah!
Oh! Oh!
Aah! Oh!
Ohh! Oh!
You are trapped, Fraulein.
I don't think so, you grimy ghost.
Uhh!
Oof!
Uh! Uh!
Ah! Aah!
Unh!
(PANTING)
I told you you would never escape.
- Mwah ha ha ha! - Hey, baron!
Guess again!
I'm gonna clean your clock.
Freddie, look out!
Heh heh heh.
You will lose this fight,
just as you lost your precious mystery machine.
(GASPING)
You...
Fred, get up!
(GROANS) I'm sorry, Daphne, I...
Don't do it for me, Fred.
Do it for her.
(GRUNTING)
This isn't over!
Wow! I didn't think I could do it without the mystery machine,
but I guess I could do it for her.
Oh, Freddie, you're my mystery machine.
I'm just so sorry the curse has given you
such a damaged damsel to rescue.
You mean the mystery machine...
No, Fred. Me.
I look so awful.
You're kidding.
I didn't even notice. You always look great to me, Daphne.
Really?
Aww!
Sure.
(CREAKING)
Unh... oh.
Freddie, look at the baron's cape.
This fabric is a synthetic blend.
I'd recognize it anywhere.
This should be real silk.
Hmm. So maybe the baron isn't a baron at all.
Maybe he's not even a ghost.
(EVIL LAUGHTER, RUMBLING)
Hold on!
- (LAUGHTER CONTINUES) - Aah!
(THUNDER)
(WHIMPERING)
(TEETH CHATTERING)
Ha ha ha ha ha!
(BOTH WHIMPERING)
Please, Velma, don't take our brains.
We need what little we have.
No, mistress. It wrong to take brains.
Ow!
Get ready to make your contribution
to the greatest scientific accomplishment ever.
(BOTH WHIMPERING)
(COUGHING)
Are you all right, Daph?
Well, the good news is, this dirndl
doesn't look any worse covered in two inches of dirt.
(GRUNTING, STRAINING)
And the bad news is, we're sealed in tight.
Here. Maybe if we... unh...
Work together...
(BOTH GRUNTING)
(PANTING) Gosh, all this digging
is making me dizzy.
(GRUNTING) Sealed in, airtight.
(GASPING) Getting woozy.
Gotta dig through the...
Before we... ohh...
Fred! Oh!
(GASPING) Freddie!
Oh, no!
(BOTH WHIMPERING)
(EVIL LAUGHTER)
Tell me, Scoob. What's the one thing we're good at?
Uhh... running away?
Hiding?
Yes, but there's something else
that we're like really good at.
Eating!
Yes! You know us so well.
Tastes like chicken.
Stop!
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Get them!
(ROARING)
(GRUNTING, COUGHING)
Don't worry, Freddie. I'm gonna get us out of here.
Wow. Jeepers.
Getting a little... woozy.
Ouch!
(GASPS)
Wait. Not ouch?
That didn't hurt at all.
Jeepers, I'm bleeding!
Air. What?
How...
This dirndl has an inflatable suit built into it.
Fred! I'm still the same Daphne!
Oh, and also, we won't suffocate.
We've got fresh air!
(SUCKS AIR)
(BLOWS AIR)
Huh?
Ohh!
Perfect timing.
My hideous dress just ran out of air.
Oh, I've gotta get out of this awful thing.
Yecchh.
(GRUNTING, STRAINING)
Aah! Hoo hoo hoo hoo!
(BOTH GASP)
Library.
Yeah, scoop, it's the library.
And since old tall, scaly, and horrible doesn't have a brain,
he probably doesn't have a library card either.
But just in case, we better find every single secret entrance
and barricade it.
Yeah! Yeah!
BOTH: Whew!
Whew.
We did it, Scoob. Ha ha ha ha!
Scooby, did we lock the door?
(ROARING)
BOTH: Aah!
Run!
Fred! Daphne!
Shaggy! Ohh!
Like, are we ever glad to see you guys.
Ha ha ha! Let's get out of here.
No! I'm tired of running.
I say we face down our fiendish foes once and for all.
- Right on! - Why?
Wait!
- The baron! - The monster!
Neither.
Come with me if you want to live.
(ALL GASP)
Velma, I can't let you get my brain.
It took me too long to get my hair just right.
No time. Hurry! Gas is everywhere,
into the tunnels and seeping up into the castle.
We must flee the gas.
Natural gas. That's why I passed out so fast.
But wait. Isn't natural gas...
Explosive.
We've got to get out of here right now, Freddie!
I was working on something.
It's a slim chance, but, uh...
(WHISTLES)
Huh?
Fred, we'll like never get a cab down here.
Oh, Shaggy, Fred can't be hailing a taxi.
Use your brain.
I am! I am!
Totally still using it!
I'm sorry I tried to take your brains, guys.
I think I was hypnotized by a device
disguised to look like an antique strichbaden electro-wheel.
Uh, that's OK.
Yeah, Velma, like, that could happen to anybody.
(HORSE WHINNIES) Mmm!
Well, what do you know? It worked.
And, presenting the all-new mystery machine.
Hyah! Hyah!
And the amazing thing is,
this gets better mileage than the old mystery machine.
Maybe you shouldn't mention the mystery machine, Fred.
That's OK, Velma. The mystery machine is still alive... in here.
Hurry, Fred. If something were to ignite this gas,
this whole place will blow up.
Yeah, but like what could ignite it?
ALL: Oh, no!
(SHOUTING AND SCREAMING)
(VILLAGERS GASPING, SCREAMING)
That poor Von Dinkenstein girl and all her friends... kaput.
The Von Dinkenstein curse... it is no more.
Whoo-hoo!
(POLKA PLAYING, CHEERING)
Our plan, it worked!
Let's dance!
- Yes! - It is kaput!
(EXCITED CHATTER, LAUGHTER)
(CLOCK STRIKING)
(LAUGHTER, CHEERING, MUSIC PLAYING)
(OWL HOOTS)
Hmm? Hmm.
(GROWLING)
Huh?! What's...
(GROANING)
The curse!
It can't really be true!
Aii! No!
Somebody help me! Somebody help me!
(HUMMING)
(GASP)
(MOANING)
Ohh!
(MOANING LOUDER)
Aah!
No. Nein!
Impossible!
You... you leave me alone.
The curse. The curse!
The Dinkenstein curse!
Ohh! Ohh!
(MOANING)
Minka... Hosna...
Yeah. Hosnai...
Aah!
Ohh! Aah! Aah! Aah!
I'm hungry.
Yes. A pizza
and some ice cream. Ah ha ha ha ha!
Ohh... paying the consequences.
Aah... aaahhh!
All aboard!
Got 'em!
We're not moving!
Huh?
Wait! Let us out!
Open this door right now!
(GROWLS) You!
It was you all along!
They tricked us.
But... how?
Easy.
Looks like our work here is done.
Zoinks! Like, don't speak too soon, Daph.
(ROARING)
(ALL GASP)
Iago, you were the monster?
No. And it's not Iago.
It's federal agent Schmidlap
from the U.S department of defense.
3 weeks ago, one of our experimental exoskeletons
designed to increase the strength of the infantrymen of the future
was stolen from one of our research labs.
I traced it to this town and went undercover
in hopes of ferreting it out.
Go ahead, guys.
Wait. You were the monster in the lab?
No, not me.
It was Burgermeister.
But that's impossible. He was with Scooby and me
when we were... hoo hoo... Chasing the franken creep.
Ah, but that's because someone else
was dressed like the franken creep at the time.
This is one mystery that doesn't have a culprit, it has a conspiracy.
Right. And that's why they hypnotized you, Velma.
Hypnotized? Who hypnotized you and why?
And how did Scooby and I become brave, not to mention full?
Like, that was the weirdest feeling in the world.
Wait, wait. Most importantly,
how on earth did I end up in an inflatable suit?
OK, maybe not most importantly,
but I'd sure like to know. Spill.
First of all, I didn't solve this mystery.
Fred had it figured out right away.
I did? I mean, I did.
I did. Uh... Could you explain how I did?
You said it when the mystery machine exploded.
"This time it's personal." And it was.
A personal attack on the Scooby gang.
ALL: Cuthbert Crawley?!
Why would your family lawyer want to destroy us?
He's not my family lawyer.
I've never seen him before.
He's really Cuthbert Crawls,
the partner of Cosgood Creeps.
They were those creepy attorneys
that haunted the Beauregard Sanders mansion as the green ghosts.
What kind of ghosts would travel hundreds of miles
to haunt a lawyer's office, anyway?
He wasn't there to scare us off.
He was there to draw us in.
Everyone knows we can't resist a mystery.
The so-called baron's curse was supposed to take away
the things we cared about most.
The first victim: The mystery machine.
The next victim was Daphne,
who started puffing up thanks to her shellfish allergy.
She had no way of knowing that she was also slipping into
its built-in inflatable suit.
And next up were Scooby and Shaggy,
whose suits were also rigged,
but with acupuncture needles concealed carefully inside.
The pressure points not only suppressed hunger,
they also created a false sense of courage,
giving them the confidence to chase after the monster.
As for me, I was hypnotized by Mrs. Vanders
into believing I could recreate my Uncle's experiment.
Which I did.
At least enough to create a diversion,
a diversion for one of the conspirators,
dressed as the franken creep to switch places with the lifeless dummy.
They sure went to a lot of trouble to scare us off.
But what was the treasure they were trying to scare us off from?
This time it wasn't about money.
It was about us.
BOTH: Huh?!
But why? Who would do such a thing?
We don't even know these people.
Don't be so sure.
ALL: C.L. Magnus?!
Yes. The shipping magnate
who masqueraded as Redbeard's ghost.
And as for our mysterious gypsy...
ALL: Lila?!
Yes. Aspiring pop singer Lila,
who was one of mamba Wamba's zombies.
That means this is no housekeeper.
ALL: Mama Mione?!
Mama Mione?
You were like a criminal gang leader
pretending to be old Ironface.
Jeepers, of course.
I should have recognized that mask.
I guess even criminals recycle.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
You get it. Recycle. Ha ha ha...
Who would have thought there'd be a conspiracy of people
determined to destroy us?
Are you kidding?
Everyone you've ever busted wants revenge!
We were turning people away in droves.
We fiended each other on the Scooby gang revenge
social networking page. You wouldn't believe
how many "yikes" it gets on a daily basis.
It took us months, but once we found out about Dinkley's family,
we pooled our resources and bought the castle.
Then we slowly insinuated ourselves into the town with our chosen identities.
Imagine our joy when we discovered
the natural gas pockets under the estate.
The castle became one enormous death trap.
And we would have gotten our revenge on you meddling kids.
If it weren't for you meddling kids.
One thing I still don't get...
Once you discovered the gas,
- why didn't you just sell the land? - Huh?
I mean, if you just sold the rights
to the natural gas under the castle,
you'd be rich beyond your wildest dreams.
- Huh? - Hmm?
- (ALL GRUMBLING) - Why? Why?
That would have been a good thing to do.
Like, you were so greedy for revenge,
you forgot to be greedy for money.
(ALL LAUGHING)
(CHEERING, MUSIC PLAYING)
Jeepers, Velma, you really won the villagers over.
I guess they really appreciate you proving once and for all
that there's no such thing as the Von Dinkenstein curse.
- (CHEERING) - Good job!
Maybe.
Or it could have something to do
with my giving them the land rights to the natural gas.
You what?
It's the least I could do
after what my ancestors put them through.
Well, gang, the wagon's all set to go.
It should only take us about 27 hours to get to the next town.
Not so fast, Fred.
The department of defense really appreciates
all of your help in recovering the prototype,
and, well, we have a little surprise for you.
ALL: The mystery machine!
(BEEP BEEP)
Baby!
I thought I'd never see you again.
Oh, come to papa!
Mwah!
Oh, for the love of...
Oh, thank you! Thank you!
Fred, uh, why don't you take her for a spin?
You may find a few hidden extras on her
courtesy of the department of defense and...
- Come on, gang. - (BEEP BEEP)
Let's get this show on the road.
- (VILLAGERS CHEERING) - Yee-hah!
There's just one last thing I don't understand, Velma.
How did you know the curse was a fake?
Easy, Daphne.
The baron's curse said that the victims would lose
what they loved the most. And then be utterly destroyed.
Hmm.
Guys, don't you see?
Of all the things we lost...
Beauty, confidence, the joy of eating, logic...
None of it was what we loved the most.
Because we love each other the most!
- Aww... - That's so nice.
(MUNCHING, CRUNCHING)
Mmm, mmm...
Acupuncture or no acupuncture,
I can't believe we ever passed up on this awesome Blutenwursten.
I know. Hee hee! It's delicious.
You know, Scoob, one thing this little adventure did teach me
was that we can be just as brave as anyone.
Yeah.
And from now on, you and I
will be the fearless furry twosome.
- Deal! - Hah!
That's odd. I never noticed this button before.
It must be one of the surprises that agent Schmidlap mentioned.
Let's see what it does.
Oh, Freddie, I don't know about that.
What the heck. Go for it.
ALL: Aaahhh!
Whoa ho ho!
♪ Scooby-doo ♪
♪ Scooby-dooooo! ♪
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a minute.
That's it? But there's so many unanswered questions.
I mean, what about this?
Shaggy is wearing underwear in this scene,
but moments later, he's wearing pants.
Where'd he get them from?
Are we expected to believe that this is real?
Does he have magic pants?
Uh, please!
And what about this?
The train engine smashes into the tower clock in this scene,
but later, badda-boom, it's working again?
Clearly this is a mistake, right?
And what about the train engine?
It went up in smoke.
But later again,
bam! There it is!
Puhlease!
Bogus. Are we expected to swallow all this nonsense
and believe?
What? Hey! You just can't...
What the... mommy!
(PBBT! PBBT! PBBBT! PBBBBT!)
(PBBT!)